ican…Hear it

Listening to what people say.

Having realised there are lots of people to support you (Reach it) and identified who best to ask for help (Ask it), the key to making your vision a reality is to continually listen to their advice and act on feedback.

The following process will enable you to capture the best advice by listening to the right people in the right order, building your Vision, identifying realistic Obstacles, gaining fresh Ideas, making new Contacts and learning from Experience (VOICE).

The first step in the process is to get out your Golden Ticket and think about positive people you would like to share it with. When you revisit your Golden Ticket do not worry how unclear or unfocused it may be but instead be prepared to share it with others to get their help.

Listening to the right voice

Make sure you start with people who are able to build your confidence and make your vision as big and bold as it can be without placing any judgement or negative thinking on it.

Be careful of listening to negative voices who may without thinking say you can’t, won’t, shouldn’t or don’t, as this could lead you to a very different place than you want to be. Make sure that you listen to the people who say you can, you will, you should and get into the habit of listening to these voices instead.

See this process as being the start of something that you will keep doing time and time again. It’s about reshaping, amending and adapting your vision based on your ideas and experiences and the feedback from the positive people you ask.

Positive +

Listen to the people you know who are ‘Confidence Builders’ who believe in you, your potential and your dreams. They give you positive, imaginative and aspirational views on your vision. They may say…

What I really love about your ideas are…
You can make your vision bigger and bolder by…
I’d like to find out more about…
I can imagine you… and picture you…

Negative –

Avoid negative people who are set in their ways, fixed in their mindset and unable to think big. Watch out for people who may have a vested interest in what they believe is best for you. They may say…

I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to…
Get real, that’s a pipe dream
Our family/neighbours/community doesn’t do things like that
There’s no way in the world you’ll amount to…

Positive +

Reflect on what some of the ‘Realists’ in your circle of support say about the potential obstacles stopping you achieving your vision. Be honest with yourself, list the barriers and listen to their advice on how you can overcome them.

It’s important you realise…
Some steps can help to overcome your obstacles, your first one could be…
If Plan A doesn’t work, B,C and D could be…
If you work hard and want it enough you may…

Negative –

Guard against listening to the negative people who make it their business to create reasonable excuses for not living their dreams and so don’t want you to live yours. They can identify every problem, but provide no solutions.

You’re not confident, experienced, talented, motivated, rich, old enough to…
I’ve absolutely no idea how you’re going to…
I can’t see how your plan is going to work
You might as well give up now

Positive +

Hear what those ‘Creative Thinkers’ you know have to say. These are the people who have the imagination, inventiveness, inspiration and ideas to help you overcome obstacles and make your vision a reality.

Why not gain some experience in…
What if you learned more about…
How about playing around with…
Have you thought about giving your time to…

Negative –

Don’t let your ideas be narrowed down by people who lack the creativity, enterprise and innovation to think outside the box. If you only listen to people who stuck doing what they have done forever and hate it, you may end up like that too.

There are no jobs in…
Why spend time learning more about…
I can’t see the point of getting involved in…
I don’t know why you’d do something for no money…

Positive +

Learn from the ‘Connecters’ in your circle of support, the natural communicators who are well respected and great at making contacts, building relationships and linking people together.

The people who can help you with… are…
The person in your ideal role is…
The organisations who value your skills are…
The people with similar values to team up with are…

Negative –

Try not to hang around with the wrong people. The groups you spend time with will influence the choices you make, pathways you go down and potential you reach – you may not be able to choose your family members but be careful too when choosing your friends.

Do what we are going to do
You don’t know them so stay with us…
Why show any respect to…
Nobody cares about you anyway

Positive +

Act on the advice from the ‘Role Models’ you know who have either experienced challenges you are facing, are living parts of your vision or simply are a few steps ahead of you on your journey.

From my experience the first steps to take are…
Having some key goals and milestones can really
help and I think yours should be…
Keeping up your resilience is really important and these things may help…
If you need any help, I’m there every step of the way.

Negative –

Don’t throw your hopes and dreams away by listening to that negative voice inside yourself saying I can’t,l don’t, I won’t. Also avoid doing nothing by simply putting your actions off until ‘someday sometime’.

I don’t know where to even start so I may as well not begin it
I’ll wait until tomorrow, next week, next month, year…
I’m scared of failing
I’ve got nobody who can help me

Making my vision a reality

You might find it useful to use ‘Making My Vision A Reality’ to help you record peoples feedback on your aspirations and thoughts for your future.

When you talk you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen you may learn something new.

Dali Lama

Why this session is important

To help individual(s) to:

  • Recognise that there are positive and negative voices around them and the importance of listening to the voice that will provide the help and encouragement they need to make their vision a reality
  • Improve the chances of making their vision real by listening to what their support network has to say about their vision and acting on what they hear

What you will need

How to do it

Explain that connecting with others involves reaching out to their support network, asking the questions they need to know the answers to and now being prepared to hear what is said and act on it by listening to the right VOICE:

  • Build their Vision
  • Identify realistic Obstacles
  • Gain fresh Ideas
  • Make new Contacts and
  • Learn from Experience

Open up the discussion by talking about positive and negative voices they may hear from those around them. What experience have the individuals you are working with had of this? Consider those positive people who have made a difference by just encouraging them to take a small step, take a risk they didn’t think they could, believe in themselves when others didn’t, reassure them that they have support, help, love and encouragement to have a go.

Contrast this with those who can be negative – saying they can’t rather than they can, shouldn’t rather than should and how they feel when they hear these voices. It is understandable to be influenced by those who are in our support networks but making sure to start with the positive people who can build confidence, make visions as big and bold as they can without placing a judgement or being negative is crucial.

Encourage individuals to use the Listening to the Right Voice as they prepare to share their Golden Ticket with others and using the feedback they hear to complete the Making my Vision a Reality template.

Consider using an example from one of the individuals you are working with to show this in practice or create your own so they can see how listening to the right voice can shape the next steps for making their vision a reality.

What other questions to ask/points to make

Again, be prepared to share some of your story, if it is appropriate. Consider where you have listened to what people have said to you in perhaps both a negative and positive way and what have been the results. Reflect on what you have learned and encourage the group to perhaps share their own experiences of people who have influenced their decisions and actions in the past.

As the session draws to a close discuss:

  • What they may have learned, or what has surprised or puzzled them about doing these activities
  • Help them to identify one key action they may wish to take as a result of doing these activities
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